Pointers for Positive Parenting

By: Paula F. Price
There is no greater investment we can make in the lives of our children than giving them generous doses of encouraging words.  It costs so little in time and effort, but the rewards are priceless.   When our young people are reminded of their God given value, they receive deposits of confidence, security, and well-being in their emotional bank accounts.  They begin building on their strengths, knowing they have something to contribute to this world.  

On the other hand, when our children have nothing positive to believe about themselves, their emotional bank accounts can become bankrupt-overdrawn by the negative comments and disappointments that occur.

Some psychologists say that for every negative comment a person receives, they need to hear 10 positive comments to overcome the effects of the negative ones.  How do you rate with the words that you speak to your children?  Challenge yourself to examine your words to your children.  Be deliberate for 3 weeks.  Look for opportunities to encourage your children.  Be careful not to use statements such as but or although following a compliment or encouragement.  If you do, you have just nullified your statement.  For example, do not say, "You do such a good job helping with the dishes BUT I wish you would do...".  Tell them what you appreciate and leave it at that.  You will be amazed at how many times you will catch yourself in conditional compliments.  Make a point to ensure your encouraging words exceed the 10 to 1 ratio.

Encouragement Helpful Hints

Be Specific.    "You're terrific!"  "Great job!"  "I love the way you drew that picture."
Be Prepared.  Think ahead of time about how you can encourage your child and what you can say.  Make a list to keep on hand to remind yourself of what you can say.
Be Creative.   Put notes on pillows and in lunch boxes.  Decorate cookies or a cupcake with "I Love U" on it.  How about hand made signs for their doors that read "The world's greatest son" (daughter, or anything else).
Be Resourceful.  Use Scripture to encourage (Psalm 139: 13-16).  Use small gifts and cards to say I was thinking about how special you are to me.  Read books that remind them of how special they are (Wonderfully Made by Lighthouse Christian Products).  Read parenting books for ideas.

Have fun, let loose, and express yourself regularly in positive ways.  The pay off will be wonderful!