Parenting Your Teen with Less Stress

By: Jana Allemeier NCC, LMHC

How to Maintain Communication

Even though teens need to separate from their parents during adolescence, they also need to know that the safety net of home and family is always there for them. If the lines of communication are shut down, they are not yet capable of surviving emotionally; they need support and input. Let’s take a look at a few guidelines for keeping the lines of communication open between parents and teenagers.

1.  Pay attention to the small things along with the significant things. If you are generally a good listener, your teen will be more likely to talk to you.

2.  When your teen talks to you, pay attention. Don’t be doing something else.  If you can’t pay attention right at the moment, explain why. Ask if you can talk about the issue later, at a specific time.

3.  Ask questions for clarification, but watch out for coming across as critical. If your teen sees your questions as disapproval, stop asking them.

4.  Expect your teen to change his mind frequently. Avoid commenting on the inconsistencies.

4.  Express interest and encouragement in your teen’s activities.

6.  Accept your teen’s opinions, even if you don’t agree with them.

Preventing High-Risk Behavior

All parents fear their teens becoming involved in high-risk behaviors such as drinking, smoking, and sexual activity. There are some very specific things you can do to minimize your teen’s need to act out. Here are some tips for preventing high-risk behavior:

1.  Be a part of your teen’s life. If possible, be present when she is likely to be home.

2.  Encourage your teen to talk to you openly at any time.

3.  When your teen tells you things, watch your reaction. Avoid reactions that will cause him to think twice about being candid with you in the future.

4.  Be specific about what kind of behavior you expect and what is unacceptable.

5.  Keep harmful substances out of the house. This includes cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. When teens have access to these items, they are more likely to use them.

6. Expect good things from your teen. Teens who know their parents expect the best have greater emotional well-being.

7.  Encourage your teen to become involved in school activities. Those who are involved at school engage in fewer high-risk behaviors.

Parenting Your Teen with Less Stress Cont...