How to Help Your Child Have Strong Self Esteem
By: Lori Pedersen L.M.S.W.
Here is a list of ways to convey the message “You are worthwhile” to your children. This list could fill a hundred newsletters, since the ways to raise responsible, happy children are limited only by our imaginations. Here are some places to begin.
Tell her on a regular basis that you love her. Actually say the words. If you think, “I don’t have to tell her. She knows,” you are wrong.
Tell him that you are glad he is your child. Say the words and mean them. If you don’t feel it, there is something wrong and you should find out what’s going on. We all have moments when we have a hard time getting in touch with our positive feelings for our children. I’m not talking about those times.
Give her an example to follow. Take the time to teach her the steps. Kids need models. It’s unfair to expect that she will know what to do in her daily life if you haven’t shown her how to do it. You can only expect her to behave with dignity and self-respect if she sees you doing it.
Spend time with him. If you are absent most of the time, he notices, and he probably thinks it’s because he isn’t important enough. Arrange activities for just the two of you. Ask him what he would like to do.
Take her seriously. Look at her when you speak to her. This conveys, “This is important and you are important.”
Explain why. It takes more time, but it conveys that she is important enough to spend the time helping her understand. When you explain why, you are also saying, “I understand that you need to know why. I am going to help you meet your needs.”