Divorce Recovery Strategies

By: Lori Pedersen L.M.S.W.

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I have developed this list of survival strategies for people who are experiencing divorce. If you or someone you love is in this situation, I hope these ideas will help you.

1. Take your time as you adjust to your changed life circumstances. Recognize that you are going through a major life transition that cannot be rushed.

2. Set up temporary arrangements to help you get through the changes involved in your divorce process.

3. You will often feel frustrated. Avoid the temptation of acting for the sake of acting just because it gives you a temporary feeling of being in control.

4. When you feel uncomfortable, slow down and identify what you are feeling and why.   Trust your gut feelings. Pay attention to your instincts and act on them.

5. Watch out for too many changes in your life as you recover from the divorce and the changes in your life circumstances. Change causes stress, and you have enough right now.  Don’t force any more changes on yourself than are necessary.

6.  Explore both the benefits and costs of your new life.  Remember to ask yourself, “What am I supposed to learn from this?”

7. Learn to set priorities. Do the most important things first.

8.  Protect yourself against the inevitable forgetfulness and absent-mindedness which many divorcing people report. Make a list of important account numbers, telephone numbers, and the like, and keep them in a safe place.

9. Let people help you.

• If it’s impossible to reciprocate, say so.
• People know that your life isn’t like it used to be.
• Don’t let your inability to reciprocate prevent you from accepting what people willingly offer.

Divorce Recovery Stategies Cont...