Develop Your Personal Negotiation Skills
By: Matt Lettington M.F.T.
Negotiating skills can help you manage lots of different kinds of life situations, both at work and in your personal relationships. Here are a few examples of where these skills can help you build an even better life for yourself:
- Many family situations require negotiating with others. Deciding which movie to see, planning how to spend money, choosing a vacation spot, and many other decisions work best when you have these skills.
- Being a good negotiator enables you to get what you want more often without resorting to becoming aggressive or pushy. Negotiating with others is more effective than simply demanding what you want or just caving in.
- You will be more successful in the workplace if you know how to negotiate. These skills enable you to stand up for yourself and get what you want more often without harming relationships with bosses and coworkers.
- Negotiation skills increase your personal effectiveness in any group situation, such as volunteer groups, the PTO, and church or synagogue groups.
- Knowing how to negotiate lessens the chances that others will take advantage of you.
- Negotiating a fair solution makes you feel good about yourself and increases others’ respect for you.
What Successful Negotiators Do
What exactly is negotiation? It is a set of skills that anyone can learn. When researchers have observed the behavior of negotiators, they learned that the most successful negotiators do the following things:
1. They plan ahead. Successful negotiations are rarely spontaneous. Taking the time to analyze the situation and think through your strategy is perhaps the most important element of negotiating success. This is true whether you are negotiating an important contract for your employer or negotiating your vacation plans with your family.
Example: Anthony wants to begin running again to get into better physical shape. He became a new father 18 months ago and has had no time to exercise. He anticipates that Belinda, his wife, will resist any discussion of his wanting to take time for himself, since the responsibilities of parenthood are so time-consuming. For a while, he avoids the subject, fearing that it will turn into an argument. Then he starts to feel angry and resentful. He decides to negotiate with Belinda and begins by making a list of his needs and wants, as well as her needs and wants.