Caring for the Caregiver

By: Kimber Weckel L.M.S.W.

Few people are prepared for the responsibilities and tasks involved in caring for loved ones who are ill, elderly, or disabled. The success of the relationship between you and your loved one depends on several factors. One of the most important is how well you take care of yourself, empowering yourself to be there for the person you are caring for. Let’s look first at what causes the stress in such a relationship, and then we will explore some ways to care for yourself as you care for another.

Sources of Stress

Caring for someone who is sick or disabled causes tremendous stress. This stress comes from several directions and each has a different effect on the caregiver. The following are the main sources of such stress:

1.  Being far away: In most families, people are spread out across the country and are not always available to help with caring for a sick or elderly person. This places extra stress on the person nearby, who often must contribute the most in terms of time and money toward the patient’s care. The out-of-towners may not realize how much time and money the person close at hand is devoting to the care of their family member.

2.  Financial stress is inevitable when someone requires an excessive amount of care. For example:

1. Many caregivers spend their own money to cover expenses that are not covered by insurance or Medicare.
2. The family members who are less involved may not realize how expensive certain items are and may even resist helping to pay for them.
3. The primary caregiver may have to work fewer hours or find less demanding work (which may pay less money). Many caregivers have to stop working completely in order to care for the patient.

3.  Cultural expectations: In some cultures, daughters are expected to care for parents, and in others it is not acceptable to place relatives in nursing homes.

Caring for the Caregiver Cont...